itsbernard: (naked → bathtime funtime)
The How's My Driving? Meme


Because I'm curious.
itsbernard: (down → so totally not sulking)
Thank god it's Friday...almost Saturday.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (down → gqmf)
The gods must have been smiling down on him, because it didn't take more than forty minutes for Bernard to beetle over from one metropolis to the other and he even found a parking spot on a street that wasn't metered; a veritable unicorn on the streets of New York City.

Jogging slightly to keep warm as he made his way to the building Jennifer lived in, he nervously slicked down his hair again with his gloved hand, the other busy holding the crinkly plastic sleeve of the mixed bouquet of flowers he decided to buy on a bit of a silly whim -- all hopelessly out of season, but whatever, he figured they'd look nice against her skin. It's not every day that Bernard has to consider his paramour's skin tone when conjuring up ideas for dates and date accessories. It's kind of fun, actually.

With one last pat to his hair, he rings her doorbell and settles down to wait. Hopefully not for too long, though, as it's fucking freezing.
itsbernard: (naked → preening peacock)
Gotta get ready for my date.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (naked → getting a bj ohhh yeahh)
I'm going out with She-Hulk.

[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (up → gettin' my guitar on)
( at work, playing for the kids )


[smuttysws]
itsbernard: (up → you're tacky and i hate you)
I hate Mondays. Even Cyber Mondays.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (down → welp that was awkward)
( at his door, icecream in hand )


[smuttysws]
itsbernard: (down → omg i'm so adorable)
St. Bernards are hard to cuddle.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (naked → bathtime funtime)
love me a nice hot batgirl.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (down → so totally not sulking)
( utterly swamped with work. needs coffee. )


[sws]

itsbernard: (up → i touch myself)
There's just something about a cougar...


[smuttysws]
itsbernard: (up → that's catagorically insane)
Halloween's over, people. Quit the crazy.


[
dcu6ws]
itsbernard: (naked → lookit my killer abs)
You know you want this, baby.


[
smuttysws]
itsbernard: (up → umm you're stupid plz shut up)
Girl, you really got me bad...


[sws]
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